On a Wednesday, in a Kitchen I Watch it Continue…

As I sit here typing on the dining table, Mr. Persistent (who will now be referred to as KJ) is putting up blinds on our kitchen window.

What?!

Yes. I have a lot of catching up to do and since today is the one-year anniversary from when we first met, I figured today would be the perfect day to write a long overdue post.

To clear the air, he has not put a ring on it. Though, obviously, things are going well for us. We actually almost bought a house in November (thankfully we didn’t) which resulted in our first real tiff. Honestly, I’m still a little bummed but only because the street name was Mimosa. How cool would be to say, “Oh, I’m just sitting here drinking mimosas on Mimosa Lane.” Seriously? So cool. Sigh.

We’ve juggled all major holidays with both families (huge adjustment), and after Christmas I moved into his house.

Sometimes I feel like we are just playing house. As if this life is just a dream; like it’s too good to be true. Don’t get me wrong. We are not perfect and I know we both annoy each other at times, but 95% of the time, I can’t believe I’m where I am today.

After all the boys and break-ups and countless dates, I finally found the one I’ve been waiting for. He truly is everything I {never knew I} always wanted.

I feel awkward writing about him when he’s only 5 feet away from me, so check back for more reflections later. 🙂

Semi-Serious Conversations.

A couple weeks ago I had my annual exam. Per usual, they told me if everything was norma I’d get a letter and if it wasn’t, a call. Well I still hadn’t received a letter nor had I received a call, so I wasn’t sure what to think. Then on Tuesday I got a call from my doctor.

Turns out my PAP came back mildly abnormal. It wasn’t totally shocking to me because three years ago I learned I had HPV (cancer-causing) and had to have a colposcopy. Everything turned out normal and I’ve had normal results ever since.

Clearly something triggered it (I’m blaming Man because I want to) and I need to have another colposcopy in a couple weeks. I’m really hoping everything is normal, and I know it’s not a big deal because so many women go through this, however, I start crying when I think about it because it sucks.

After work I went up to Mr. Persistent’s family’s condo for the night. His mom, sister, her husband and their kiddos were all there. Shortly after I got there, I told him what was up. He seemed very confused and asked me, “who gave this to you?” it was like he had never heard of HPV before. Then, he left the room and seemed almost upset. I didn’t feel this was something I needed to tell him before since I’ve had normal test results ever since and I kind of figured it just “went away” forever.

We all put our swimsuits on and went down to the pool so the kiddos could swim. Mr. Persistent and I spent most of the time in the hot tub and had some serious talks.

I asked him if he was mad at me for not telling him and assured him that it doesn’t do anything to him and said that it’s undetectable in men. We talked about best case and worst case scenarios. We talked about kids, what we thought our future kids’ features would be (hair and eyes).

Then we started talking about houses and how we’d want things and what we would do with my stuff if/when I moved in. Then we started talking about our wedding. His friend’s wedding that he’s in has 14 groomsmen and only about 4-5 bridesmaids. I told him that I would never allow that because I want even numbers (either 2, 4 or 6) for picture purposes. He said that would be really hard for him because he has so many friends and has been in so many weddings. I told him that just because someone has you in their wedding, doesn’t mean you have to have them in theirs. We decided that 4 would be the best number and easier for him to decide since he has 4 super close friends.

It was kind of crazy to be talking about all of this. He also told me that he learned his second roommate (who is never there) decided it’s time for him to move out as well.

We got back and drank with his family, played games and it was a really enjoyable time. The next morning when he woke up he decided he wanted to go home. I was a little bothered because I had rescheduled my dental appointment so I could spent the day there. However, I got back and decided to pamper myself – massage and manicure.

I feel like we are really growing in our emotional bond and it’s awesome, but also scares me to the point where I think about sabotaging everything over small things like my morning routine. I think it’s because I start work soon and that means big changes. We started dating when I had about a couple weeks left of work, where you don’t really do anything and then I’ve had all summer to hang. Now that I’m starting soon, I need to gear up and put a bigger focusing on being prepared for my job. I think he feels it’s going to be a big change, too, as sometimes I feel he’s “off” with me. Hopefully the transition runs smooth and we figure out a plan to make it work.

Wedding Weekend Part 2

It has been two weekends full of wedding shenanigans! This past weekend I went up to visit my friend L as she went searching for her wedding dress. She had rented out an entire bridal shop and it was so awesome.

Definitely got me thinking about my wedding with Mr. Persistent. And I don’t even have a ring yet. However, my intuition tells me that may come within the year. While at dinner celebrating my new job, I learned last week that Mr. Persistent told his roommate that it’s time for him to find a new place to live. They’ve lived together since college! It’s kind of a big step for him. His roommate also just got into a serious relationship and the four of us at his place is a little crowded.

I guess that means I may be moving in soon. Well, not really. However, once his roommate moves out he told me I could start bringing clothes and keeping them in the second bedroom closet. I think that will be more convenient than bringing my outfit with me and hanging it on his bedroom door when I stay the night. I’m not allowed to move out during October-February and have to give 60 days notice. So I’m thinking in the spring, maybe it’ll be time to give my notice. Part of me doesn’t want to live with someone until I’m engaged, though. That’s a ways off and I don’t know why I allow my mind to go there.

Wedding Weekend Part 1

The last weekend in July Mr. Persistent was in his cousin’s wedding. His parents/sister & her husband picked me up. I hadn’t seen Mr. Persistent in four days as I was out of town and he looked so incredibly good looking in his tux.

I sat with his parents for ceremony and it was interesting. The pastor made some weird references to missing planes.

After the ceremony, I rode on the bus with the wedding party.

This is where things get dicey. Are you ready?

First, I’ll say I had fun on the bus and enjoyed meeting his friends/cousins.

Second, I’ll say that you should never consume more than two kinds of drinks in a 2 hour window.

By the time we got back for dinner, I was spinning. His mom kept asking me if I was okay. It was so embarrassing. Why was I spinning? Let me break it down of what I drank…

1 vodka lemonade
1 Bud light (which I hate, by the way..I’m a Miller girl)
1 Redds
1 glass of red wine
1 shot of apple pie
1 shot of a red headed slut
1 shot of Rumpleminz
2 glasses of champagne (more like shots because I chugged them)

There’s really not much more to say.

I didn’t drink at all the rest of the night.

Mr. Persistent dropped the L word on me again after dinner and then again (numerous) times when we got home. He told me that he’d been wanting to say it for a long time. He hasn’t said it since.

The next day we literally spent almost the entire day in bed hanging out. He is in another wedding in early September. I’m a little more nervous for that since it’s on a Friday evening at 4:30 and I work until 3:45. The details and anxiety that gives me could be a whole other post. So, stay tuned when the date nears!

Meeting Family and New Friends.

Last weekend I met some of Mr. Persistent’s extended family at his cousin’s high school graduation party. Definitely realized the power of social media when we got there.

As we were walking up the driveway the small groups of people just stared at me and one person said, “There’s B.” It was so awkward.

His family is very nice and I had a good time. Afterwards, we went to his friend’s house. I had met his friend before, but not his wife. We drank and played card games, charades (on my phone) and sat by the fire. It was a lot of fun and I really like the guy’s wife.

Mr. Persistent thinks we are going to be friends, but I don’t think he understands that you hit a certain age and it’s incredibly difficult to make friends. Yes, I really like her and I’m glad if the four of us hang out again I’ll have someone to talk to. However, I really don’t foresee us hanging out just the two of us.

Shortly after we got there, he showed me the room we were going to sleep in. I was very confused. He didn’t tell me we weren’t going back to his place so I didn’t have any eye things with me. I have terrible eyesight and need glasses or contacts at all times. If I sleep in my contacts, I need lots of eye drops. I was incredibly annoyed. If you are basically blind, I think you understand where I’m coming from. Normally I keep eye drops with me, but I only brought my wallet and phone since it seemed like it was going to be a short evening.

Then I did something I don’t normally do…

I told him how I felt. I know, right? I was really impressed with myself. He knew something was wrong with me and asked. Normally, I would be all sulky and go, “I’m fine.” *cue really snobby and annoyed tone of voice.* However, I said, “I would appreciate it if you would tell me if you think we’re not coming back to your place so I can be prepared and bring my glasses.”

He has perfect eyesight and before he got his Lasik, he had minimal problems, so I don’t think he understands how difficult not being eye-prepared is. The wife is a nurse and had saline syringes, so I used that before I went to bed. When I woke up, though, my eyes were in rough shape and I had to take my contacts out and blindly be guided to his truck when we left.

During that night (or early morning), as I was heading up to bed he told me very clearly, “I love you.” I must have given him a look because he immediately recanted and said, “I mean, I love all of you” and did a hand motion. Then he came to the room to check on me a little while later and we hugged and he said, “I just want to tell you that I love you, but think it’s too early.”

I just don’t know what to do. I haven’t brought it up because he had been drinking and I think he gets a free pass for that and he’s not really said it to me sober. The majority of me wants to say it to him, but there’s small part that is all, “wait…you’ve only been dating for three months.” And technically, it’s only been two since we declared ourselves “official”.

Tomorrow I am going to his cousin’s wedding and will meet more family. I’m having a minor panic attack about it. He is in the wedding, so his parents are picking me up tomorrow afternoon. I’ll get to ride in the limo with him for pictures, but I’m sure I’ll have to be alone with his parents at the reception dinner since he’ll be at the head table.

I think I’m more worked up about this than I should be because I’ve never been to a wedding, much less as the date of someone in the party. I also don’t know his family very well, so it’s just very nerve-wracking.

I’ve also heard that Mr. Persistent has a drunk alter-ego named “Steve”. This will be a very interesting and pivotal weekend in our relationship, I think. Wish me luck!!

I don’t like you, then I like you.

Things are still going well with Mr. Persistent. However, sometimes I get really mad at him for kind of petty, but not really petty, reasons. For example. When we first starting dating (OK…like a month and a half ago), we would go out to restaurants (not fast food places) and cooked dinner together at least once a week. Now, I’ll get over there about 7 thinking we’ll make dinner and we don’t. Because he’s not hungry as he eats late lunches at work.

So I’m stuck there starving…and it’s not like I could make something because he’s a boy and has no good food in his place. I mean good food according to B. I have gained 15 pounds in two months because I’m constantly going to Starbucks for breakfast on my way to work since I spend 4/5 nights there or we’re getting fast food for dinner. Which, when we went on our first date he said he rarely ever eats fast food. Now, we are eating a step up from fast food like Culver’s or Noodles, but it’s still more than I normally eat.

The moral of the above rant is I like cooking and it’s frustrating when I can’t cook and eat good food. Now I’ve decided that I’m going to make dinner before I go over there. If it means I’m getting there a little later, so be it. I also told him this. We also don’t eat the same thing. It makes me wonder if, down the road, we live together or get married how that’s going to work.

So sometimes I get really mad about this food situation, but then he does something and it completely makes up for it.

Like this story…

The other day we made dinner. We got chicken. What is it with guys and chicken? I swear, every guy I’ve ever dated prefers chicken to red meat. I prefer red meat to chicken. Give me a fat, bleeding burger or steak any day. Anyway, we also got corn on the cob. Then he decided that he wasn’t going to eat one. I wanted to grill them so I had to soak them in water first. I go outside to tell him that the corn is almost ready to put on and he told me he already put the chicken on.

I was furious. I like when things come out at the same time, the corn was going to take 20 minutes to grill! They also had to be flipped every 5 minutes. I gave him the corn and just sat inside fuming and psychotically texting D about my frustrations (because God forbid I tell the person I’m frustrated with why I’m annoyed). He came in for something and I asked if he was flipping every 5 minutes. He took out his phone and showed me that he had put a timer on to make sure it was exactly 5 minutes.

My heart instantly melted and I forgot why I was mad at him. No, I didn’t…but it made me less annoyed.

The L word has not been said since my last post. It’s hard because he will do these really nice things for me and I just want to shout it out. For example, I spray painted bins this week and wanted 6 bins for each color. When I got to his place to paint, he had everything set out in his back yard and even had the bins divided up for me! I just wanted to tell him that I loved him, but didn’t.

Today I am meeting some of his extended family at his cousin’s graduation party. I am a little nervous, but I know it will be fine. Next week we are going to his cousin’s wedding which I will definitely write about in a few days.

The L Word. Kind Of.

Saturday at Mr. Persistent’s family was SO much fun. I really like them. We played the bean bag toss game, had a fire and then his sister, brother-in-law and I were up until 2:30 playing Catchphrase in the garage and drinking.

Also learned about all these functions I am apparently attending with him in which he forgot to tell me. So the next three weekends are packed with family things for the both of us. This Saturday we are going to visit my other grandma and she’s very….animated, for lack of a better term. Next Saturday we are stopping at his cousin’s high school graduation party. This will be the first time I meet his extended family. The following Saturday we are going to his cousin’s wedding in which he is an usher in. I’m not really sure how that works as I’ve never been to a wedding as a date of someone “in” the wedding. Do I have to sit by myself? That’ll be awkward. I’m excited, nonetheless.

OK. Now for the big stuff.

As I mentioned in my last post, Mr. Persistent had kind of been mumbling “I love you” and saying he wanted to say it. Well, Sunday evening we were in bed and he said something that I didn’t quite hear so I said, “what did you say?” He then goes, “I love you, babe.” It was still quiet, but definitely loud enough for me to hear. I paused briefly (which probably felt like an eternity), taking the situation in…was he serious? He had to be, you don’t just say “I love you to say it”. Then I said, “I love you too, babe.”

So, yup.

It hasn’t been said since so I’m not sure if I count it or not. The next time it does get said, expect me to write about it.

My life has been pretty crazy these past three weeks. I have had four interviews, two job offers and one rejection. I’m waiting to hear from the last place which is my top choice. I also started a summer job which I’m partly wishing I hadn’t taken it. I think ultimately I will enjoy it and it gives me something to do, but I just want to relax on my vacation. At least it’s part time so it’s not every day.

I don’t want to say it in fear of jinxing myself, but things seem like they are slowly falling into place for me. I hope it’s for good.

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The bean bag toss game Mr. Persistent and I made. I am in love with it.